Ahhhh, the old 'seperate but equal' sleight of hand... now that truly is insidious!
Nonesense. Your understanding of gender (in)equality/issues may be different than that of some people of some faiths or religious teachings but you cannot assume that those people are filled with 'hatred'. You also cannot assume that all Americans, or anyone for that matter, who is ideologically opposed to same-sex marriage is anti-gay or full of hatred for gay people, or even understanding of themselves as being discriminatory or hypocritical: Interestingly, the California exit polls show that Blacks and Hispanics voted against same-sex marriage far more than whites, who in California are less likely to be religious, even as Blacks themselves were making their own enormously significant civil rights gesture... This is a complicated issue. Minority issues surrounding race or male/female gender are so much easier for people to grasp. In the long run, however, a victory for one will be a victory for all. I was very happy to hear Obama's speach last night in which he made a point to mention gay people as being included in his vision for a new America. In the context of proposition 8 this is significant, and I don't think the issue has been put to bed yet.
You seriously need some perspective. Equating The USA with treatment in those places is simply absurd and unreasonable. Nobody ever made the claim the United States gets a perfect score in these issues, and I certainly didn't, but we do have rights in the US, as flawed and imbalanced as they may be, that will facilitate this civil rights debate, and many others I'm sure ... but if that is not completely and immediately satisfactory to you, why don't you try trading places with a gay person in Saudi Arabia or Jamaica for example. I'd love to hear your relativistic musings then...