Toronto isn't quite the Naples of the north — yet
Sondra Gotlieb, Weekend Post
Published: Friday, July 10, 2009
Things in Toronto aren’t anywhere near this bad — yet. Plus, in Canada’s largest city scholars will cart away your trash.
Toronto is afflicted with a garbage strike, as Naples famously was. The Omertà , the Mafia or whatever the name is for those who run the Ministry of Criminal Affairs in Sicily these days, controlled the strike in Naples. The garbage was left piled high and stinking for months - designated parks were not an option. The Neapolitans tossed their garbage in whatever empty space they could find in the city. Tourists were advised to stay away. They used to say, "See Naples and die." I was in Naples 53 years ago and even then, I knew what 19th-century Victorians were talking about. Now the phrase has new meaning. Even though the garbage strike in Naples is supposed to be over, I hesitate to visit.
Nobody has ever said, "See Toronto and die." Actually, I believe it was the Bay of Naples, not Naples itself, that people were talking about. "See Lake Ontario near the Gardiner Expressway and die?" No, I don't think so.
The garbage strike in Toronto really doesn't surprise me. There has
always been a problem with garbage in Toronto, except for those people who live in a condo and just throw a bag down the chute. Are condo-dwellers still untroubled by garbage during the strike? I used to envy those with chutes. It's heaven not to worry about garbage after a successful throw.
The moment our strike was announced I received paper slips in the letter box, one announcing a "students garbage pick-up" and another a "scholar garbage pick-up." Naturally, we pay for this. Depending where one lives, these scholars and students charge from $3 to $7 per bag. But I don't even need to double bag it, nor do I have to drag out the upright coffin the city has forced upon us. If I ever want to murder someone, advisedly no bigger than 5-foot-5, I'd stick the body in the latest and strangest container supplied by the city, and just before a July dawn, push it in front of the house of a neighbour who really gets on my nerves. These containers are so big that people who live in small, garage-less houses use them as garden statuary. That's what they do in the Annex.
It's interesting how the spirit of capitalism blossomed during our strike. It didn't happen in Naples. I suppose if a Neapolitan scholar who wanted to be a temporary garbage-man went around ringing doorbells and asking to remove one's garbage for a price, that enterprising Neapolitan scholar would end up sleeping with the fishes. Instead of a state monopoly, Naples has a Mafia monopoly, which may be the same thing.
I have had a problem with garbage in Toronto for many years. My garage is filled with square containers and upright containers, which look like fire hydrants - all no longer of use to our Waste Management department. I remember buying one of those square containers in grey at Canadian Tire. I called up the man who knows the latest gossip about garbage and he told me that they only picked up that size container in green. Both containers were identical except for the colour. I argued colour discrimination, but you know, it's never a good idea to duke it out with garbage people. The truck left the grey container filled with newspapers and picked up my green one. Furious at such a blockhead ruling, I backed down and went out and got a green one.
I have a lot of neighbours and friends who simply adore all this sorting and recycling of garbage. It gives them a sense of accomplishment. Personally, I would just like to throw everything in a big bag and give it over to a scholar garbage collector. Before the strike, if I dared tell people about my garbage ideal, they would accuse me of being anti-green.
A gardener pal said that we should even be grateful to the waste management people because we can get free compost from the city of Toronto. What I see is thousands of virtuous Torontonians feeling they're saving the world by sorting and recycling, yet not quite realizing what a mess it is at the other big end where all the garbage goes. If one really wants a good look at our recycling facilities, it still is "garbage in, garbage out." Recently, an accredited lab was hired to test the compost made by city-paid processors and found it of poor quality, too much salt. Composts from Wal-Mart and Canadian Tire were far better. The plastic and diaper technology used by the city is in doubt and a lot gets dumped in incinerators which is supposed to be bad. At least our mayor is a vocal opponent. But it's impossible to argue with City Hall. Those gnomes and gremlins that make policy have an answer to everything, except the question of when this strike will end.
