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It's okay to think it's ugly
No one says you have to love the ROM addition
by Joey Slinger
May 3, 2007
http://www.thestar.com/News/article/210011
The Royal Ontario Museum addition is far enough along that you get a pretty good idea what it's going to look like when it's finished, and if you don't absolutely love it, that's all right. There's no law that says you have to love it.
It's even all right if you find you don't really love it very much. Or don't love it even slightly.
Nobody can force you to love it the tiniest little bit.
You don't even have to like it.
Whether you don't like it, or don't like it so much that the sight of it makes you ill, that's okay. What you think is your business.
If you've never seen anything that looked as ridiculous in your life, it could be that you haven't lived much or seen many ridiculous things, but you're entitled to your opinion every bit as much as somebody who's lived a lot and seen thousands of ridiculous things but has never seen one as ridiculous as this.
If it gives you the creeps. If it gives you hives all over your body. If it causes a rash to break out on your eyeballs. If it makes your guts itch.
Don't worry.
They can't strip you naked and tie you spread-eagled on top of an ant hill and slather you with honey to make you change your mind.
Say you think it looks like some kind of intergalactic parasite from a science-fiction movie (two-reeler, probably 1954) that has glommed on to the museum where the white-haired old curator Dr. Tomlinson has been secretly extracting material from mummies that will permit him to create an entire race of mummies that will rule the world.
And the intergalactic parasite is sucking the vital juices out of the museum and Dr. Tomlinson because they stand between it and Dr. Tomlinson's lusciously heavy-breasted, blond daughter and laboratory assistant, Tamara, whose vital juices it needs to create an entire race of intergalactic parasites that will rule the universe.
That's okay.
Go ahead.
Nobody can stop you.
They can't punish you because they call it "the Crystal'' and you expected something crystalline and gleaming, which shows that you know next to nothing about how the molecular structure of crystals can make some of them look about as shiny as dirt.
Nobody can punish you because you don't know science, or because you don't know architecture, or you don't know art, or you don't know dick.
It's as simple as that.
And if you don't know art, but know what you like, and you still don't like it, or if you do know art, and think it looks like a pile of cubist dog doodle – something Braque, if he'd been a responsible citizen, would have stooped and scooped – okay.
You're entitled.
What if you think it's ugly as sin?
And what if you're asked to name the ugliest sin you can think of? (Take your time. The renovated ROM isn't going to all of a sudden vanish.) And then you're asked to compare how ugly you think it is with the ugliest sin you could think of.
And you say, well, maybe it's not that ugly, but you'd still hate to have a sin this ugly on your conscience.
That's great. It's your conscience.
If you got the idea that the "Bilbao effect'' referred to creating a museum that draws tourists from everywhere on the planet, thus rescuing a backwater from decrepitude – if you got an idea like that while the ROM uses it to mean attracting school trips from Burlington, they can't capture you at gunpoint and turn you over to the authorities in Afghanistan.
You can't be tortured.
Because if you are, the prime minister will find out about it and – and, on second thought, maybe you should keep your ideas about what the "Bilbao effect'' means under your hat.
It doesn't mean you're wrong.
It just means a little discretion doesn't hurt, the same as if the sight of the addition makes you ill, it doesn't hurt to step discreetly behind a tree to throw up.
If you're gradually coming to understand that the reason everybody else in the country hates Toronto isn't because we're so damn wonderful, and they're jealous, but because they're mortally embarrassed that the premier city in Canada never misses a chance to show that it's pure, unvarnished Hicksville, and you're kind of embarrassed about it too, fine.
There's no law that says you can't feel embarrassed.
.