Not content with growing redcurrants, blackcurrants, gooseberries, raspberries and rhubarb in my back garden to make jam from, I'm thinking of creating a green roof above my kitchen and growing veggies next year. If I can rear veal calves and bunnies and force feed ducks for foie gras in the basement I'll be almost totally self sufficient in food one day. The rest of my protein requirements will come from whatever wildlife I can snare down in the Don valley. I'll rack up enough carbon-footprint credits to sponsor huge teams of cheap migrant workers from the Third World ( they'll row here across the Atlantic in leaky vessels made from recycled tires ) to forage for mulberries, rhubarb and other foodstuffs most people pass by without noticing in the gardens and parks of our city, and in the hinterlands, and plough the massive profits from the fruits of their labour into building windfarms all over the city.
