I Hate The War on Mayor Rob Ford
14 hours ago
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF THE NEXT FOUR YEARS. These are the rules for the new Mayor of Toronto, as established over the past four years in this city. Please print this out and stick it to your fridge, Mr. Rogers, and let the fun begin. We did not choose the rules, but we will respect and enforce them for J-Lib, as they were enforced on Rob Ford.
1) You must attend every parade, and if you miss one without a valid excuse, you are a homophobe, racist, sexist, antisemite, intolerant, bigot, and/or bully.
2) You are only one vote of 45. You may not pass gas without the permission of council.
3) You get no credit for any positive accomplishments that take place in Toronto during your term in office.
4) The media must be allowed to follow you out the front door of your penthouse condo every morning, and train cameras on your windows every night.
5) All substances ingested - legal, prescribed, or illegal - must be reported to the media immediately upon consumption. The Toronto Police reserve the right to place you under 24/7 aerial and telecom surveillance, under the pretense of building a possession case against your errand-boy.
6) Politically-charged hospital staffers must illegally access your medical records and leak them to the press immediately.
7) We reserve the right to paint your every word with the most negative brush possible.
8) Even though we know this would never happen in a WASP golf club, we demand to know every time you have joked around using racial stereotypes with friends over a round of Grasshoppers.
9) If you try to raise money for underprivileged children, we will sue you.
10) When the looney left strips away your office and your powers, we will not shed a tear, nor lift a finger. In fact, we may even go on the radio and egg them on.
