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Happy to be Free from Owning Houses

greenleaf

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From today's New York Times

January 7, 2010

Men Who Jump the Picket Fence
By MICHAEL TORTORELLO


THE house was an ordinary house: It bore him no malice. Alan Berks knows that now. But back in the spring of 2005, when Mr. Berks, a playwright, and his wife bought the three-bedroom home for $214,000, it often seemed that it was trying to ruin his life.

Alan Berks the renter had spent his evenings with friends at African dance nights and jazz clubs. Alan Berks the homeowner lost an entire day rearranging the living room furniture. “I did find a spot for the couch that made me happy,†he said. “I was proud of myself. But where the couch is — that’s how I’m going to measure my happiness from now on? I remember thinking: ‘This is how people live? Why am I doing this?’ â€

There were other problems, too.

“I couldn’t walk to anything,†said Mr. Berks, 37, who lived in the Powderhorn Park neighborhood, south of downtown Minneapolis. And routine maintenance distracted him from writing. “Why would I have any interest in fixing the bathroom sink?†he said. “I’m in my 30s. If fixing something made me happy, I would have learned how to do it.â€

Mr. Berks’s wife, Leah Cooper, 40, a theater director, initially liked the house. But “I was miserable,†he said, so she came to dislike it, too.

If the couple’s relationship with their home was like a bad love triangle, it was clear which partner needed to go. Eighteen months after moving in, Mr. Berks and his wife took drastic action: They dumped their house (managing to break even), sold almost everything in it, loaded up their Subaru and drove to Honduras for a six-month adventure.

Mr. Berks said he would not recommend that solution to every homeowner. He and his wife are back in Minneapolis now, in a rental in the Uptown neighborhood, within strolling range of restaurants, bookstores and coffee shops. But looking back, he wonders why so many friends encouraged him to buy a house.

“I understand why the government or society wants people to have homes,†he said — they fix them up, and their commitment stabilizes neighborhoods. “I get it, the whole beneficial aspect of homeownership. But individually, I’m not seeing it as a moral good.â€

As it turns out, Mr. Berks is not alone in his disdain. For reasons practical, financial and definitely emotional, there seems to be a growing cohort of men like him who are falling out of love with the holy institution of homeownership.

The numbers behind this disenchantment are only suggestive. Men and women under the age of 40 report roughly equal levels of satisfaction with homeownership, according to a large national study by the Center for Community Capital at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Yet the behavior of single men and women hints at divergent gender attitudes toward homeownership.

Married couples make up the largest group of new home buyers. Next, according to research from the National Association of Realtors, are single women, who in the last 12 months represented 21 percent of home buyers; single men were just 10 percent. That gap has opened up in the last decade, said Paul Bishop, vice president for research at the association.

Mr. Bishop’s survey is silent on the motivation behind the gender split. Younger single men may be more likely to change jobs and cities, he speculates. They may be more willing to squeeze into an apartment with two or three buddies. Or they may be cowering in the nest with Mom and Dad.

Whatever the case, a number of men seem to be newly aware of what economists describe as a peculiarity of homeownership: it has an asset value (as an abstract investment) and a consumption value (as a place to watch VH1 and wash underwear).

“Once upon a time, people bought houses to live in,†said William Clark, a geography professor at UCLA, who has written widely about homeownership. That fairy-tale attitude began to change in the 1970s, Mr. Clark said. And in the housing mania of the last decade, he said, many buyers started to see their homes as speculative investments — high-flying stocks that happened to come with wine cellars and four-car garages.

Today, “with the sudden run-up in foreclosures, you’re starting to see people ask, is housing a good investment?†he said. “In fact, it probably never was.â€

For the first time in a generation, homeowners can look at their dwellings without hearing the distracting jingle of the real estate jackpot. And a number of them, having stepped onto the property ladder just as it was becoming shaky, would very much like to get off.

Men have no monopoly on domestic discontent. There are also women who wish they had signed their mortgage with disappearing ink. But for men, rejecting homeownership may involve broader questions of manhood, said Dr. Roy Baumeister, a psychology professor at Florida State University.

“There are a lot of extra stresses that men have,†he said, a claim he advances in a book to be published in the summer, “Is There Anything Good About Men?†(Short answer: probably.)

In almost every culture, Dr. Baumeister said, “men are expected to produce†more than they consume. In a similar fashion, men naturally compete for status. Buying a home, he said, is often tied up with those pressures.

For 31-year-old Nathan Quevedo, public information officer for the Merced County Office of Education in California, buying a house with his then-wife marked a conscious arrival in adulthood. But that was before the value of his house in Merced dropped by half in just over two years. And before $500 worth of pool pump filters died — ending the swimming season for the foreseeable future. And it was definitely before he and his two young daughters took in a roommate to help pay the bills.

As his relationship with his 1,800-square-foot tract home has gone bad, Mr. Quevedo said, he has started to question his assumptions.

“I had some goals that I had set for myself before I turned 30,†Mr. Quevedo said. “The first one was to be a homeowner. The second one was to make X amount of money. I accomplished those goals. And they were good goals. I don’t fault myself for wanting to have that American dream: a good job, a place to call my own for me and my kids. But I don’t think that homeownership is essential for that anymore.â€

AS a business consultant for start-up ventures, Kirt Greenburg, 41, roams widely from his base in Atlanta. But the frustrations with his 3,300-square-foot colonial revival house, where he lives alone, follow him everywhere. Mr. Greenburg, by his own account, is a “methodical, list-oriented person,†and his laptop is full of spreadsheets that document what’s wrong with the house.

He started his first file in 2002, before he closed on the cedar shake house on a tree-covered acre. The electrical, plumbing and heating systems needed an overhaul; the roof leaked. Mr. Greenburg expected that the repair bill would run $60,000, maybe $70,000. The new Quicken file he clicks open, though, shows he has spent $130,000 (a sum that includes a new kitchen and a complete paint job).

And the place still isn’t fixed to his satisfaction. He clicks on another spreadsheet that tallies the unfinished repairs, room by room. There are closet floors to patch, sand and finish. There’s a basement crawl space to weatherproof. “There have been a lot of times when I haven’t wanted to go home at all,†Mr. Greenburg said. “Because home reminds me of all the things I need to get done. It’s not an escape for me.â€

Looking back, Mr. Greenburg questions why he thought he would want to own such a spacious, high-maintenance home. He grew up with five siblings and enjoyed the noise and hubbub. Yet the home he bought feels silent — so much so that he sometimes doles out rooms to luckless acquaintances who need a place to crash.

His real estate agent described the home as an ideal spot for parties and sit-down dinners. But most of his friends live in condos and apartments across town, where they eat takeout and drop into restaurants, he said.

As a kind of entrepreneurial “nomad†in the 1990s, Mr. Greenburg bounced among eight cities in one five-year span. Recently, he and his newish boyfriend, a French national who has a short-term job in Atlanta, have daydreamed about starting a new business together — in the south of France. Owning a house, he said, “ties me down.â€

“People who are particularly mobile should not be a homeowner because of the high transaction costs†of unloading a house, said Donald Haurin, an economics professor at Ohio State University, who has studied the civic virtues of homeownership. And younger men, he pointed out, tend to relocate more often than young women do. “In economic literature, there’s certainly nothing that says everyone should be a homeowner.â€

Mr. Greenburg has belatedly come to the same conclusion. “I was perfectly content to be in a rental, but I thought it didn’t make financial sense,†he said. After few years of halting gentrification, neighborhood real estate values remain depressed — and depressing. “Now that I’ve sunk in all this money and taken out a mortgage, the main reason it made sense for me is gone,†he said.

....
 
continued:


While Mr. Greenburg tethered his fate to a fixer-upper, Hanyul Lee bought a new 4,400-square-foot condo in Medford, just outside Boston. The two-story unit had once been an auditorium, and he and his fiancée customized the vast space while they planned their wedding.

The sale closed three days after they returned from their honeymoon, in November 2006. Within a week, a wall had cracked and bowed, he said. The ceiling leaked. Before long, rain was pouring in through the windows. There were more travails, Mr. Lee said, but he is suing the developer and said that he would rather not talk about it.

Though he considers himself financially savvy — at 29 he is a director at a consulting firm that advises Fortune 500 companies — he wonders if he might have been too optimistic about buying in a new development.

Mr. Lee’s parents gave him a toolbox to celebrate the new digs. Yet the gift only showed him that he didn’t know how to make the most basic repairs.

“It’s a humbling experience,†he said. With his wife taking care of their infant daughter, “the general expectation is that the man in the household will have competence in fixing things and building things. Whether or not that’s warranted, I do not.â€

Adam Ratner said he found fatherhood to be incompatible with homeownership — he could take care of either his infant daughter or the yard. He picked the one that cooed. Dr. Ratner, a 39-year-old pediatric infectious disease specialist at Columbia University Medical Center, was starting a fellowship in Philadelphia when he bought a house in the Main Line suburb of Narberth.

“My first day in the house, I managed to lock myself out,†he said. “Of course there’s no super.â€

He was working “60 or 70†hours a week, he said; his wife, Shari Gelber, an obstetrics resident at another hospital, was working “80 or 90.â€

Ultimately, Dr. Ratner admitted, his landscaping neglect went too far. His next-door neighbor, a dentist with an in-home practice, “got so sick of seeing our grass that he started coming over to mow the lawn,†he said.

And the yard, Dr. Ratner added, was not a large one. “I wish I were making this up.â€

In 2006, with their medical assignments completed, Dr. Ratner and his wife returned to New York and faculty housing in Morningside Heights. “We ended up chasing a falling market,†he said of their old house. “Eventually we just lowered our price enough to sell it.â€

He recollects his old house without bitterness. He misses grilling year-round on his deck, he said.

Yet his aversion to homeownership may be more powerful than he lets on. When an infestation of bedbugs spread through his apartment building last year, Dr. Ratner and his family had to jettison furniture, carpets and clothing.

They did not consider, even for a moment, leaving their rental and buying another house.
 
It's certainly a lifestyle decision and one isn't greater than the other. It all depends on the individual(s).

I can relate in the sense that I've chosen condo ownership for a lot of the reasons cited in this article. I prefer to be within walking distance of everything and have a smaller space to maintain. Sure, fixing the bathroom sink, if necessary, will be up to me, but maintaining a condo is certainly a lot more manageable given my lifestyle.

Pros and cons.
 
Yeah, to each his/her own.

I had a townhouse downtown. I ended up buying a house in Scarborough.

I dislike cutting the grass and shoveling the snow, but I appreciate the quiet, and the much bigger space. I also like not having any connected neighbours. One of the first things I did when I moved into the house was to buy a big honkin' subwoofer. ;)

pb13ultra_oak_grillon_basic.jpg
 
An interesting article. I think there are some profound things going on here rooted in our fundamental biological behaviours. Why is this important? Because I think there are real trends you can track to create business opportunities and understand some of the stresses that are becoming increasingly apparent in our modern world.

I find for instance the trend where the fastest growing segment of the home-buying population are single women interesting. The two reasons for this I think are because the traditional roles and necessity of marriage are breaking down and leading to more and more failed relationships. Also, both women and men are post-poning maturity to beyond the fundamental "nesting" timing mechanism in women. So lots of guys are still roaming around the earth while their female peers are "nesting" without a partner.

I think technology is also changing the way we perceive space. To be a mature man in control of his reality I think control of space or territory is one of the most fundamental desires. So with this in mind you can see how property ownership and control over land is hard-wired into our brains. But in the modern world space can be so many things real or virtual and behaviours can become highly mobile while still giving us the same feelings and emotional fulfilment.
 
Heh - I think flat panel TVs gave developers another reason to chop two feet from the width of a unit ;)


no kidding .....
if one truly looks at the floorplans with the mock up furniture placements and SCRUTINIZES the dimensions, you will notice that the back of the couch is no more than 8 ft from the TV wall (and some places as little as 7 ft !!!)
 
Yeah, to each his/her own.

I had a townhouse downtown. I ended up buying a house in Scarborough.

I dislike cutting the grass and shoveling the snow, but I appreciate the quiet, and the much bigger space. I also like not having any connected neighbours. One of the first things I did when I moved into the house was to buy a big honkin' subwoofer. ;)

pb13ultra_oak_grillon_basic.jpg

This has been the question in my mind quite a while now. As people are avoiding Scarborough completely nowadays, the house price becomes irresistible. I always think one day people will be awaken and turn around figuring why I am buying the same price in Concord or Oakville if Scarborough has a nice one - for all the commuting otherwise especially working in downtown.

So, for my future next or next next home, just in case to consider Scarborough what area do you recommend? I used to live near Guildwood Park
and know it is a quiet community...hope it hasn't changed lot. Anywhere else?
 
So, for my future next or next next home, just in case to consider Scarborough what area do you recommend? I used to live near Guildwood Park
and know it is a quiet community...hope it hasn't changed lot. Anywhere else?

I know a couple of people who live in Scarborough and they get annoyed at the reaction they get when they tell people this. They all live in nice houses. From just my brief visits, the Scarborough Bluffs area is very nice, although the main road when you exit the area is not so nice.
 
I know a couple of people who live in Scarborough and they get annoyed at the reaction they get when they tell people this. They all live in nice houses. From just my brief visits, the Scarborough Bluffs area is very nice, although the main road when you exit the area is not so nice.
Yep. I live in the Bluffs which is south of Kingston Road, but north of Kingston Road it's not very nice in many areas, and much of Kingston Road itself is not very nice either. Once you go further north, it gets nice again, albeit in a cookie cutter suburban type of way. The Bluffs' homes are from 50+ years ago, unless they've been torn down and rebuilt, whereas much of north Scarborough is more recent suburban-like subdivisions.

In the north part of Scarborough it is very Chinese with lots of good Chinese restaurants, but some people find it a little too unicultural. OTOH, in the Bluffs it tends to be very Caucasian. The restaurants and much of the shopping generally sucks near the Bluffs, aside from rare reasonable places, or you can drive west to The Beach or whatever, or north to the good Chinese restaurants. One thing about the Bluffs is that you can actually buy waterfront detached homes for a little under $700000 (or at least you could until recently). Sure most of these properties are small 50s houses that need fixing up, but for many, getting a 50'-frontage waterfront property beats paying $600000 for 3-bedroom townhouse elsewhere with almost no land. Away from the water it gets progressively cheaper as you go north.

Note I said drive. Transit is abysmal in much of the Bluffs, although in certain areas it's better.

As for transit in the Bluffs and niceness of Kingston Road: There is a stretch of Kingston Road that has just been rezoned. Right now it is composed of old 2-storey buildings and drab strip malls, but the area of land and the roadway is actually quite huge. With the rezoning, there is a potential for huge condo/townhouse/retail growth there. If that happens (in the next 15-20 years), then the time to get in would have been now, when it's still inexpensive. Along with the rezoning is a new transit study that is recommending Bus Rapid Transit along that stretch, to meet up with the Bloor-Danforth Subway line.

Also, at Warden and St. Clair and Midland and St. Clair for example are some new townhouse subdivisions, which are reasonably done. Nothing terribly exciting in terms of design, but clean, inexpensive, safe, and close to transit.

My favourite part of Scarborough is the area around Fallingbrook, adjacent to The Beach. It's very upscale there, and close to The Beach without having to deal with all the hectic crowding of the Beach, with much nicer homes with character too. However, I don't live there, because it's quite expensive there.

BTW, my drive downtown in the am would be about 25 minutes or so, although if I go a bit later it can stretch to 35 mins. (In off peak hours it's about 20 minutes to Union Station for me.) My neighbours take the GO train. It's a 5 minute drive to the GO station, and then a 15 minute GO train ride. I don't actually usually work downtown though. I work elsewhere and it's nice being able to get to about the Yonge/Eg area driving in less than 30 mins during rush hour, whereas my Richmond-dwelling driving coworkers might take up to an hour in rush hour.
 
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Thanks guys so in conclusion more south west the better - close to Downtown and close to beach..:) yeah, of course.
 
Thanks guys so in conclusion more south west the better - close to Downtown and close to beach..:) yeah, of course.
If you like to be close to Chinese shops and good Chinese restaurants, north Scarborough might be better too. It's some of the areas in-between (near Eglinton in some areas for example) that are not so nice.
 
If you like to be close to Chinese shops and good Chinese restaurants, north Scarborough might be better too. It's some of the areas in-between (near Eglinton in some areas for example) that are not so nice.

I am happen to be one of the Chinese not want to live in the Chinese community - because of the uni-cultural. I would rather travel to north across GTA eg. I will go pacific mall 40 mileage from my home (such as what I plan to do tomorrow morning to one of my favorite Chinese restaurants). Thanks for the suggestion though. Unionville would be my choice to advise Chinese people if they want the convenience.
 
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